I have Mental Illness, although I no longer let it define me, it is still apart of me. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, Bi polar, General Anxiety, PTSD, nightmares & flashbacks. As well, I am and Addict/alcoholic, codependent, sex and love addict and suffer from an eating disorder. I am in recovery from all of these things and taking it one day at a time. I am in trauma therapy, and see a BPD therapist! I see a dietitian, I eat 4- 6 healthy meals a day, I try to exercise 6 times a week, and see a personal trainer 3 times a week and I attend self help meetings. I am also in treatment in Houston, Texas at the Mental Health CO-OP and I attend 9 groups and classes a week and a museum/ coffee shop outing on Fridays and after being in 26 other facilities and multiple hospitalizations I am finally doing good! At one point I was on 9 psych medications and now I am only on 1! I see a psychiatrist as well to help keep my medications stabilized. I journal, pray and meditate daily! 7 months ago I would sleep in till 12, shower 2 times a week, never brush my teeth, now I take care of myself, I shower daily, brush my teeth twice and floss between meals and at night, and I dress to impress! Growing up I had major social issues and to this day I am proud to say I have both male and female friends and they are healthy relationships. I as well have an amazing boyfriend! Things I am trying to work on are managing impulsivity, boundaries, manic episodes, anger, playing the victim and attention seeking behaviors. I also am close with my family who at one point in time I couldn't even speak with. I have goals , I know what I want to do with my life I want to one day sponsor woman and take them through the 12 steps, I want to go back to college and become a social worker and eventually be an educational consultant and help people like my past self go to treatment, I want to be financially independent, I want to get married and have a family, and I want to raise my family in the Jewish faith like I was. I am also trying to attend temple once a month, hopefully starting soon! All of these things are to better myself. The staff at my treatment center along with my family have all told me that slowly but surely I am improving and that means the world to me, in the past every time I improve I tend to mess up. I do not want that to happen this time. I am trying to eliminate cursing and sex talk from my language because I want to be a more mature woman.
Today I found out a friend of mind from the rooms of AA passed away this passed weekend from an overdose, it really made me take a look at my past from when I self harmed, and overdosed and made me think of how badly I hurt my loved ones and how far I have now come! I am grateful I did not pass away although then I wish I did! I am grateful to still be here today! The last few years I have lost a lot of people I truly care about! A lot of new people have entered my life though who bring me joy as well! Those are the ones I now fight for!
I hope you all have enjoyed learning some new things about me! I know that some of you may have always wondered why I have been in and out of treatment for years, now you know. If you have any questions please feel free to comment below or email me and ask!
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