Quit Now

Today I have decided I am ready to completely give up cigarettes, yes I will still be smoking my e-cigarette! I am super excited! I am doing this for my self and not for anyone else! I can do this with God's help.

For more information on quitting and assistance!

https://www.cancer.org/healthy/stay-away-from-tobacco/guide-quitting-smoking/deciding-to-quit-smoking-and-making-a-plan.html

https://www.quitnow.net/Program/

Love Always,

The Borderline Jew

(I have since decided to smoke again, but I have a new quit date of 4/10/17 and I am being sent patches by quit now)

How I Begin and End my Day!

I wake up shower, get dressed, do my codependency meditation, put on perfume!

I have a cup of serenity tea from HEB every morning!
I put on my lavender essential oil on my wrist and under my nose!
I journal to God every morning and have God right back to me as well as if he were writing to me!
I pray/meditate and read 10 minutes out of my 10 minute meditation book!
I then do 1 Sudoku, 2 word searches and 1 people crossword (answer as many of them as I can and later go back and answer more with my boyfriend)
I also color 1 page of my mandala coloring book!

In the evening I journal about my 5 senses and what I noticed about them throughout the day.
I do a daily Na 10th step.
I write my Goals for the next day.
I also make a Gratitude List!
I finish my night with a cup of tranquility tea from HEB!
I put on some peppermint essential oil on my wrist and under my nose!

Love,
The Borderline Jew

The 5 Agreements

My thoughts:
1. Away's Speak from the heart.. Don't regret what you say once you say it.
2. Let shit go!
3. Do not assume anything without knowing all the facts!
4. Try to do the best you can at everything so you know you have given it your all!
5. Shut the hell up SARAH!

Book: Don Miguel Ruiz

Love,
The Borderline JEW

Borderline Personality Disorder - Marsha Linehan

“Therapy does not work for people who are dead” Marsha Linehan

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/23/health/23lives.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

My thoughts on the article and how I was able to relate:
-Victimizing
-Motivation to find treatment: HOPE
Find happy, productive lives
-In the past, feeling chronically suicidal
-I was in hell" too
-Out of Control
-Lonely
-Desperate and hopeless
- Needy, Outbursts, Self-destructive (cutting & burning)
-Borderline
-Manipulative and Hostile
- Suicidal
- Always in and out of psych-wards

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=967Ckat7f98

Marsha Linehan

Love,

The Borderline Jew

Meditation-Noticing your 5 Senses

Received from the Book- ten minute meditation by Jennie Harding

1.Taste: Eat to survive & Enjoy it! ex. enjoy a smoothie

2.Touch: The point the world comes into contact with us. (Is it cold, comfortable, supportive?) ex: someone's touch

3. Smell: Hardest to define! Immediately change how you feel. Influence mood & behavior!
 ex: essential oils

4.Sight: Interpret the world around us! Ex: Rainbows (Notice the outside visualization) ( Color in your environment)

5.Hear: Acutely tuned to the outside world. (sound noise and silence) ex:ocean and nature sounds

Love,
The Borderline Jew

I am Borderline!

I have Mental Illness, although I no longer let it define me, it is still apart of me. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, Bi polar, General Anxiety, PTSD, nightmares & flashbacks. As well, I am and Addict/alcoholic, codependent, sex and love addict and suffer from an eating disorder. I am in recovery from all of these things and taking it one day at a time. I am in trauma therapy, and see a BPD therapist! I see a dietitian, I eat 4- 6 healthy meals a day, I try to exercise 6 times a week, and see a personal trainer 3 times a week and I attend self help meetings. I am also in treatment in Houston, Texas at the Mental Health CO-OP and I attend 9 groups and classes a week and a museum/ coffee shop outing on Fridays and after being in 26 other facilities and multiple hospitalizations I am finally doing good! At one point I was on 9 psych medications and now I am only on 1! I see a psychiatrist as well to help keep my medications stabilized. I journal, pray and meditate daily! 7 months ago I would sleep in till 12, shower 2 times a week, never brush my teeth, now I take care of myself, I shower daily, brush my teeth twice and floss between meals and at night, and I dress to impress! Growing up I had major social issues and to this day I am proud to say I have both male and female friends and they are healthy relationships. I as well have an amazing boyfriend! Things I am trying to work on are managing impulsivity, boundaries, manic episodes, anger, playing the victim and attention seeking behaviors. I also am close with my family who at one point in time I couldn't even speak with. I have goals , I know what I want to do with my life I want to one day sponsor woman and take them through the 12 steps, I want to go back to college and become a social worker and eventually be an educational consultant and help people like my past self go to treatment, I want to be financially independent, I want to get married and have a family, and I want to raise my family in the Jewish faith like I was. I am also trying to attend temple once a month, hopefully starting soon! All of these things are to better myself. The staff at my treatment center along with my family have all told me that slowly but surely I am improving and that means the world to me, in the past every time I improve I tend to mess up. I do not want that to happen this time. I am trying to eliminate cursing and sex talk from my language because I want to be a more mature woman.

Today I found out a friend of mind from the rooms of AA passed away this passed weekend from an overdose, it really made me take a look at my past from when I self harmed, and overdosed and made me think of how badly I hurt my loved ones and how far I have now come! I am grateful I did not pass away although then I wish I did! I am grateful to still be here today! The last few years I have lost a lot of people I truly care about! A lot of new people have entered my life though who bring me joy as well! Those are the ones I now fight for!

I hope you all have enjoyed learning some new things about me! I know that some of you may have always wondered why I have been in and out of treatment for years, now you know. If you have any questions please feel free to comment below or email me and ask!

                                                                       That's all for now,
                                                                    The Borderline Jew

Hey everyone my name is Sarah Elyssa Weissman, 

Welcome to my new Blog, it has been a long time since I have blogged but it is one of my favorite things to do, share what I love!

Since it is only my first Blog, I won't get to deep and personal but I will share some of my favorite quotes! I do want to share that my life is headed in the right direction and I have never been happier! I guess when I decided to trust and put my faith into god he worked in magical ways!!! Hope everyone will follow and enjoy my blog!

 Here is what my current VISION BOARD looks like!!!

Love,

The Borderline Jew